I never thought that at any point of time, I would become bulimic or an anoretic. I guess I never new myself well enough. This probably isn't the first blog I have written but this is the first one I'm going to be perfectly honest in. I started searching for thinspiration when I watched a Shane Dawson (I LOVE HIM!!!! btw.) video in which he used the word. Now when I googled this I was fifteen and had a best friend who was a bulimic. Now I won't blame Shane for my Bulimia or my friend because one summer I just felt like I ate to much ice cream and made myself throw it up. My mom and well the world wasn't helping my body image issues and Controlling how much came out of my body was the only real stability in my imaginary world. My family isn't what you call broken. My parent's, I think love each other I can't say I'm sure because I don't know what the romanticist love is or how it looks. Now I was bulimic for about five months on and off when I stopped because I realized it was plain stupid. I knew it was plane stupid when I did for the first time yesterday in over eight months but I still did it anyway. I thought if I reminded myself why I became an anorectic I would stop binging. Back when I was a bulimic a binge had consequences, Consequences like sticking things down my throat till it hurt. Tears coursing down my cheeks because for some reason I couldn't stop the tears when I forced myself to throw up. I reminded my self of the consequences but I'm not doing very well. I am on the Skinny girl diet and I started it today. I am scared of letting any one I know I am an anorectic because then they will wonder why I am still so FAT!
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